I like for you to be still/ Me gusto Cuando Callas
by khursten
Summary: A poem/fic inspired by Pablo neruda's "I like for you to be still"


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"I like for you to be Still/Me Gustas Cuando Callas"  
  
By Khursten Santos with the poetic help of Pablo Neruda.  
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"Aaah! Aoshi-sama!" Misao elated as she commended me for the good day that  
was.   
  
Suprisingly, I shook the old man in me and took Misao to the theatre to  
watch some play. For some reason, when she showed me the tickets this  
morning at breakfast, I nodded my head in approval. That sheer delight in  
her face turned into exuberation as some kind of instantaenous confettis  
from the ceiling and her constant yelps of "yatta"'s and "happy"'s. At that  
moment I couldn't help but sweatdrop.   
  
Seemingly so, as the day passed, Misao spoke nothing of the coming play. On  
the other hand, I was more bothered with what to wear. With what formal  
clothes I have, I was only able to get a set of Western Clothing which I  
believed I used when I was spying in the Dutch Embassy. A bit dusty and  
worn, I asked Omasu to wash it for me. Her reaction annoyed me. That  
giggle. That flighty giggle as she got the clothing in my arms and spoke  
"This'll be spic and span even before the sun sets! Or shall I say before  
your date." and of course that eventful laugh which reminded me of  
Battousai's lady, Kaoru. "OHOHO! OHOHOHO! OHOHOHO!!"  
  
Time passed, and soon afterwards it was afternoon.   
  
"AOshi-kun!! Your clothes! Spic and span as I promised." Omasu spoke, still  
giggling and so on. What's the fuss of these people. Thank god, I'm not  
responsible for these men. If they were under my lead I would've whacked  
their heads and placed them under disciplinary probation. But... that was  
then... when life was bitter and pale. Things have changed a lot for the  
past years... and I'm trying my best to accept this change.   
  
Much more time passed and the next thing I know, I heard a rapping at my  
door.   
  
"AOSHI-SAMA! It's time to go!!"  
  
I stood up and lit an incense. And left the room. The incense was for  
security. Just for anything that might possibly happen. Strange things  
happen nowadays.   
  
I slid my door open and before me was someone I can't think could look like  
that. In her purplish kimono and her hair loose, flowing in soft curls  
caused by her braids, she looked far from that girl who was jumping this  
morning for some reason. Her petite build still made her look cute and her  
sparkling eyes of blue, as though they were sapphires, glistening. I was in  
a state of reverie and admiration, of course taken under consideration that  
my true reaction of how she looked wasn't really shown because of my  
unformidable mask. Everything was entirely perfect until that tone of voice  
shattered the image before.   
  
"Aoshi-sama! Are you ok?" Misao asked.   
  
At first I thought I was dreaming but the reality seeped and I remembered.  
Before me was Misao. And like any lady, she could cast a man into her  
spell... She surely got me lured in hers.   
  
I stepped out of my room and followed Misao who held my hand as we walked  
out of Aoiya.   
  
"JIya!! We're leaving now!" Misao acclaimed. Okina left his quarters,  
half-squinting I presume after reading all of the bills Aoiya has to pay.   
  
Still squinting, I am certain that he hasn't seen the way Misao looked.  
"Misao, I don't want you to do anything bad, ne? Don't make *yawn* mean  
comments about the actors and don't *yawn* throw tomatoes at them. You've  
been guided well by the code of Oniwabanshuu regarding respect and honor.  
Now don't disgrace the Oniwabanshuu." he uttered. He walked away and turned  
back handing me a lamp to carry. "Just in case it gets dark." I nodded and  
held the lamp.   
  
"Misao remember... courtesy okay?" Okina reminded for a last time.   
  
"JIYA!!"  
  
"MI-" Okina was lost for words for as his eyes widened as he saw Misao  
before him.  
  
"Are you-"  
  
"Hn! let's go now Aoshi-sama!! Good bye Jiya!" she turned around, grabbing  
my arm and left the gate of Aoiya.   
  
I turned my head to see how Okina's reaction. His eyes still wide and his  
mouth still open. As expected of him. There's one thing wrong with Okina.  
He barely could handle his emotions at moments like this.   
  
Still time passed and the play went well. Misao had a few laughs which  
ultimately lightened the aura of the play. The play was the story of a  
smitten love affair. It was said that the play was taken from a Western  
plot and was only rewritten for the Japanese audience. It was indeed a  
funny play. About a girl getting stranded into an island, and in order to  
survive she had to be a boy and it becomes a fiasco as every girl falls in  
love with her, but the girl was only in love with one man, the prince of  
the kingdom. Later on she unveils who she really was and her twin brother  
came to rescue her. A light and funny play. Something Misao would enjoy.  
And she surely did. As for me. I also enjoyed it. My laughter was expressed  
in a faint smile drawn to my face. I am no spoil sport. Somehow I know how  
to react in situations like this. Misao wold consequently look at me on how  
I reacted... and she was very pleased with what she saw. I'm sure she was.  
I believe this was the first time she had seen me smile.   
  
Light faded and now it was dark. I light the lamp and walked with her home.  
"Aah! Aoshi-sama! The play was fantastic, ne?" she spoke, wrapping her  
lithe arm around my arm, and her hand holding mine.  
  
"Aa." I answered.   
  
"Oh my, especially when that girl fell in love to that girl! What a laugh!!"  
  
"Aa."  
  
"Is that the only thing you could answer to me Aoshi-sama?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay. That makes two, but I believe you weren't Okashira to answer those  
two things." she scolded. My... things indeed have changed. Now it's the  
subjects who scold the authoritative figure. I smiled at the thought of how  
things changed as I heard Misao hum the tune played during the play.   
  
The walk created a discussion I've neer had before. A very casual and  
rather normal conversation. No decision-making, time-consuming orders or  
something of that sort. Just a normal talk. About things... about life...  
Things I've never discussed as openly to anyone. Though I might say that I  
was still very cold on my talk. I only answered what I thought and what I  
had to answer. As before, I showed no emotion or spoke of it. It would take  
a whole lot of time before I could tell her what I truly feel. I could find  
no way to tell her how I feel, perhaps, it's part of her spell.To cast the  
man under her grip and make him motionless. I believe this spell hers has  
entirely bewitched me. Strapped me to my seat and made me talk. Made me  
dazzle and adore her beauty. Made me fall in love completely... to whatever  
definition they speak of love. I wish for no cure at this enchantment. I'll  
be willing to bewitched by her love forever. Then again, somehow, there's  
this mask that she couldn't break. The mask would take time before it'd  
break. It would take much time before she'll hear a faint smirk coming from  
my mouth. And I'm sure she'll await for that day as she waited for the day  
to see me smile.  
  
The night extended further as Misao wanted to eat out, which I agreed to  
as I heard the rumblings of my stomach. Still more confusion in my head  
regarding what I've been telling her and about so many things. Hanny...  
Beshimi... her questions of life outside Aoiya. of course, still detaching  
herself from matters that concerned their deaths. She indeed has developed  
into a grown and responsible person. As expected from any Oniwabanshuu. I  
feel proud of having known this girl. In this lifetime, i feel good to have  
known a Misao Makimachi. I just pledge that Kami-sama will make me meet  
another on like her.   
  
Why did I get all of this romantic? I'm starting to feel terrible. I think  
I'll go and pray in my quarters later.   
  
It was already late when we arrived at Aoiya. With most of the light off, I  
presume everyone was asleep. Misao was still talkative and the same  
reaction for me. Just listening. AS we appraoched her room she released her  
grip on my hand and for that moment, as though impulse and gratitude hit  
me, I hugged her. For a moment I didn't want things to move. I just want to  
hold her at this moment. In fear of losing and tearing the moment that  
tomorrow this might not come again, I just had to hold her. To feel her  
small lithe against my chest and her arms around my waste.   
  
"I like for you to be still; it is as though you were absent,   
and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you.  
it seems as though your eyes had flown away  
and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth.   
  
As all things are filled with my soul   
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.  
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,  
and you are like the word melancholy  
  
I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.   
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing  
like a dove  
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:  
Let me come to be still in your silence.  
  
And let me talk to you with your silence  
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.   
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.   
your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.  
  
I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,   
distant and full of sorrow as though you had died.   
One word then, one smile, is enough.   
And I am happy, happy that it's not true."  
  
I wrapped her in my arms, just treasuring the moment. yet the silence makes  
me feel as though there was nothing in my arms. As though the memory of it  
faded. Then I heard a faint smirk near my chest. Misao. Never manages to  
keep herself quiet at a time like this. She pulled back and smiled at me.  
Not much afterwards, she stood tiptoe and kissed me on my lips. Short, but  
the feel of her soft lips on mine made my spine... tingle? As her face  
moved away, so did I. It is time for me to get back to my reality... that  
bleak world of my room. I pity her love for me because I know she'll barely  
get anything in return. But then... what had just happened. The kiss. The  
smile. The closeness and intimacy I've never felt in my life. I know there  
are more of this to come. I believe, things are to change after this.   
  
She ran and smiled to me, going to back to that jovial Misao this morning.  
And with that, as she was near her room, a bow. Of gratitude, of respect, I  
don't know.  
  
Many unexplainable things has happened tonight. And I believe as I walked  
and enter my quarters, as I lie down my mat, as I smell the incense I  
burned before I left, I will remember that soft lips touch mine. From there  
I know, I wont lose her. Misao would always be there to love me.. even if I  
can't express my affections for her.  
  
As I stir myself to sleep with Misao in mind, I heard a smirking inside my  
room.   
  
Instant reflex swayed me to open my door to see my trespassers and saw the  
smirking faces of Shiro, Kuro and Okina.   
  
"Ooh... i love you Aoshi-sama" Shiro mimicked.  
  
"I love you to Misao." Kuro mimcked me.   
  
Okina couldn't help but laugh. "Before you let us make up a story between  
you and Misao you might-"  
  
darting kunais and soon, the blade of my-  
  
"Have a good sleep Aoshi." Okina teased. I turned red in annoyance, though  
the thought of it seeped back to me. yet the rants of my fellow Oniwas  
annoy my being the thought of her just comforts the soul.  
  



End file.
